As I’ve worked my way through all of the women/mom acronyms, I think that I’ve covered all bases….I’ve been a DINK (dual income no kids) a COHM (Career Outside the Home Mom), a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom), a WAHM (Work at Home Mom), and a CAHM (Career At Home Mom). Trying to live that perfect Mom, Wife, Work, Life balance, I think I’m getting pretty close with my current status as a CAHM. I’ll try to sum up my perspective of each one:

DINK:  As the name implies, plenty of disposable income to spend on things that related to ‘me’ (and my husband), plenty of time to go to the movies, go to restaurants, lay around the house on a Saturday, go on vacation, etc. But, if I’m really honest, we always felt like something was missing, and we spent a lot of time talking about and planning for children (how many, what would name them, how much fun they would be….)

COHM:  Guilt. This basically sums up my experience with continuing to work while raising children. I had guilt about leaving my newborn with a nanny, I had guilt about always having to leave the office before everyone else, I had guilt about my work colleagues having to adjust their schedule to accommodate my ‘new mom’ schedule.

Even with a reduced work week (which really meant that my former full-time schedule of 60 hours a week was reduced to a ‘part-time’ schedule of 40…), I couldn’t make this work. My house was a disaster, my toddler ran and jumped in the nanny’s lap when she saw me come home from work, and I really felt like I wasn’t contributing at work as I had during my ‘pre-kid’ days. With baby #2 on the way and the realization that the only way for me to advance at work would be to completely outsource 100% of my personal life, I quit.

SAHM:  Lots of Time, Organized Linen Closet, and In shape. Boy, did I have a lot of time as a SAHM and I discovered that I really liked Sunday nights again – no pre-work angst, just thoughts of what I’d be doing with the kids that week. Though I wouldn’t have admitted it back then, I had nothing but time with 2 kids under the age of 2. We had perfectly scheduled days, both of them napped every afternoon for at least 2-3 hours, which left me with time to have a clean and organized house.

I use the status of my linen closet as a gauge to how clean my house is – I had a linen closet that Martha Stewart would have been proud of, in fact, I modeled it after one of her ‘how to set up your linen closet’ segments, with brass labels on every shelf, scented potpourri sachets throughout the closet, and everything arranged by type, size and color….if I could ever get it back in that condition, I’ll post a picture; otherwise, you’ll just have to imagine it. Lots of naps (yes, I napped at least 2-3 times per week) regular gym visits (I was in the best shape of my life after #2, I ran a lot, I trained for races, and somehow I had my eating under control, or maybe not, I just worked out a lot) – it was a great time. The only thing that was missing was money. With 2 more kids bringing our total to 4, and the desire to sign up for every activity, take a vacation, do more fun, big kid things, I was heading for another status change.

WAHM:  Not wanting to go down the day-care path, I decided to find some work that I could do from home. I went down quite a few interesting paths, trying to avoid scams and other total disasters, or working for below minimum wage – I even wrote an ‘ebook’ about my experience. Anyhow, I tried lots of part-time, work-at-home gigs, including administrative jobs, accounting work, technical recruiting, affiliate marketing, selling stroller accessories (that a whole other story), starting a short-lived but worthwhile computer training business (Whizkids LLC) and finally SEO/Internet Marketing.

It really was a great training ground for my current work situation. I sorted out what made a good work at home experience and what didn’t, I figured out how to conduct a work call while overseeing 4 kids, and I got my home office set up. It was the Internet Marketing ‘gig’ which led me to take on more clients and eventually create my own lasting business (initially “KME Web Design”, and now “KME Internet Marketing & Social Media“).

CAHM:  This is my current status. With all 4 kids in elementary school this coming September, I see this as (hopefully!) the best of all the acronyms. I’m able to control my schedule, I’m doing something that is lasting, challenging and fun, and it turns out that I’m pretty good at it. I’ve got a couple of people on my staff – this has probably been the biggest challenge, finding suitable help, but I’ve got a very good crew right now including my husband, who moonlights with my company “volunteering” after his “day” job.